Things that bother me, even though they shouldn't

• People who talk about being "visual learners." People act like it's some sort of medical diagnosis they've received, and must decree at every opportunity. I used to work at a wedding invitation store, and often when helping a customer, they'd say, "Can I have a piece of paper to draw it? I'm just a really visual learner." I was not at all bothered by the request, but sometimes the term "visual learner" is thrown out there so proudly that it bugs me. And when do you hear people bragging about being audio learners, or maybe tactile learners, or olfactory learners? Any of those out there?
  
  
• When I'm using something at my house, and I think, "Man, I really like this [item]." And I know it was a wedding gift, but I can't remember from whom. I remember who gave us lots of stuff, so when I can't, it really bothers me. Like maybe I'm not grateful enough, you know?
  
  
• People whose blogs seem to be constructed around the idea of making their life/husband/babies/crafts/house/family/jobs/blog backgrounds/fake etsy shops seem way better than yours. Or people who do that in real life too.

• When Pandora Internet Radio chooses a song that I feel is not a good fit for the station I'm on. For example: Sheryl Crow on my Norah Jones station. Sheryl Crow's bad-a attitude and her guitar do not mesh with Norah Jones's piano and such. Also, they seem to think Jack Johnson is universal. He shows up on my Norah Jones station AND my Beatles station AND my James Taylor station, and even my Feist station. Sick of it.



• Spelling mistakes, especially ones that you learned in elementary school. "There coming over" is not correct, nor is "Your coming to the party, right?" (I made those up, but you get the idea.) Minor ones bother me too, and I KNOW it doesn't matter, but the other day I read something about "pedaling" items, as in selling them, which should be "peddling." And it doesn't matter, but I can't let myself not care. This could also be on a list called, "Things that really bother me about myself but I don't know how to change them."

• People who refer to apostles like they're buddies from the football team. They should be referred to as Elder Ballard, President Eyring, etc. It really bothers me when people say things like, "Well, Holland used to be the president of BYU, and so did Oaks." Or "I heard Nelson is coming to devotional this month."

• People who name their babies old lady/old man names and then act like they're all original and cool. Seriously, I feel like every baby name I've heard lately is Ruby or Olive or Tom or Jack. Don't get me wrong, I like the names, and I am supportive of naming your babies cute names like these, it's the attitude that gets me. I can't handle people acting like they were the first one to think of it. IT'S A TREND, YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT UP.
  
  
• Urban Outfitters.

• Little kids that whisper. You know, you ask them a question, and they look at you like you held a gun in their face, and then whisper something to their mom, and then the MOM answers you. That kills me. I understand if they're shy. (Actually, that is a lie. Shyness is completely befuddling to me, having not experienced it, but that is not the point.) The point is that if they're shy, too bad! Everyone has to talk to a stranger or a waitress or what have you at some point in their life. Don't handicap your kids by letting them not talk to anyone.

• How expensive it is to live. I come home with a paycheck feeling like we can do anything, but then apparently we have all this stuff to pay for. Turns out gas and electricity and food and cell phones all cost money, who knew?

• HUGE bows and flower headbands on babies. Like, the ones that are bigger than the baby's face. Those are so silly. And they make the baby look super ridiculous.

• This blog thing: Dear Anthropologie, Why are all your clothes so cute? Maybe now you can lower the prices a little. Or Dear Winter, I am finished with you. Please go away. I don't know who started that, but it seems like I was reading it everywhere a few months ago.

• When my bangs decide that they are trying out for Charlie's Angels without consulting me.

• My restlessness to travel. Ok, so actually, that's not what bugs me. What bugs me is not having the funds for it.

• When I go to the gym to run on the treadmill and realize Seinfeld is on, and the only open ones are too far away to see it or the TV thing doesn't work.

• How much hesitation I have about posting this list in fear that someone might feel bad. Why am I so worried? It's not like I'm raving mad about anything, this is just supposed to be funny. But for some reason I am worried someone will think I am mean. So yes, I am putting a disclaimer at the bottom of a list of things that bug me, and the fact that I am doing it really bugs me.

(Also, if you have any doubt about my hesitation to post this, maybe this will sway you: I wrote most of it in August, added a couple more things every month or so, and am finally getting it out today. Please don't think I'm mean. Please?)