Alcohol makes everything taste good

Yesterday at work I noticed my keyboard was looking a little dusty. So I got out one of those cans of compressed air and dusted that thing out. I love those things. Isn't it crazy how the can gets all cold when you spray it? Then, this morning, I was going through a stack of papers, so I would lick my finger every once in a while, and my finger tasted AWFUL. Really bitter and bad. So naturally I went and washed my hands, assuming I had touched something gross, and went on my merry way. Well, after a few minutes, it had come back! And it wasn't just one hand, it was both of them. So then I started to suspect maybe it was my keyboard, and that the canned air tasted bad. I . . . might have . . . licked a key. I HAD TO MAKE SURE! And yes, suspicion confirmed, it was indeed the keyboard that tasted so bitter. So I got a damp cloth and wiped the whole thing down real good, feeling like a smart little gumshoe that I pinpointed the problem so quickly. But turns out, water is no bueno in this situation. (In most every other situation, water is muy bueno. It's the foundation of life!)

But after my failed damp cloth situation, I knew I had to turn to the internet for help. I've Googled a lot of strange things in my life ("caffeine pants," for instance), but I didn't think I would ever type in "canned air bitter taste." Not only that, but there were tons of results for it! Apparently to deter those My Strange Addiction types from huffing and inhaling compressed air, companies have started to put a bitterant in it. Which is great for stopping addiction, but not so great for typing and then going through a stack of papers. I ended up at the 3M website, reading their FAQs about dust remover. Turns out I am not alone! Enough people have bugged them about this, that it turned into a Q that is FA! They have specific instructions on how to remove the bitter taste from your mouth, fingers, and keyboard. It includes eating some chocolate. Oh, 3M. Adorable. I think they figure that bittering agents are basically like Dementors.

Anyway, the advice for getting it off your keyboard said to mix isopropyl alcohol and water and wipe down your keyboard. We don't have any alcohol in our office, and I wanted this fixed soon, so I ventured to another office in our building that I thought might have some. I took a cup with me to bring some back. Then I walked into their office, holding a red plastic cup, and said, "Hey Kim, do you guys have any alcohol I can have?" then I looked at my cup and clarified, "RUBBING alcohol?" Oh, we all had a good laugh about that one. While she tried to find some I enlightened the ladies of the office about the bitterant and my poor fingers and keyboard. They didn't have the liquid stuff, but they did have some wipes that they sent with me, so I returned and wiped down my keyboard yet again.

And now--I could lick my fingers all day long! Bitter taste has disappeared! Thanks, 3M tips. And also alcohol, obviously. That helped the most. I think the lesson I've learned from this is that alcohol always fixes problems. I'm going to carry that one with me.