Ok, judge me. I've started watching The Bachelor. I've watched the last 3 episodes, and I will be honest, I plan on watching the rest of the season. BUT I KNOW THAT IT IS STUPID, ok?
Now that we've got that out of the way--what is with that crazy show? I have a lot of thoughts about it, that are mostly in the form of questions. Let's get started.
Firstly, Where do they find these girls? Because here's the thing--they've got to be a little nuts. Because it seems like they all truly believe that they will fall in love and blah blah blah. But how can you REALLY think that? It just seems so silly. Chris popped in for a moment while I was watching, and when he walked in I looked at him like a deer in the headlights and said, "I am NOT watching The Bachelor! Don't worry about it!" He stayed long enough to make the observation that every girl is really pretty, then went on his way. And then I thought, yeah, they are. How in the world do you find that many truly beautiful girls who are that nuts? It just doesn't make any sense. And I even like some of them (especially Emily, she is so nice and cute), but I can't help but think, but . . . . they're on The Bachelor. So they can't just be nice normal girls, right? They have got to be sort of dumb.
Do you think those girls all have that roommate phenomenon? The one where they get on the same cycle and wreak havoc on the plumbing? Because that would be pretty great. They're all kind of emotional and prone to byotchery anyway, you know? So throwing that into the mix would definitely make for some great shows.
Phrases and words I would like to eliminate: "Journey," "Put walls up," "Take walls down," "I'm really starting to fall for Brad," "It's just hard to feel special," "Make these women open up/feel comfortable," "I came here to find love," "I can already see myself spending my life with her."
Also, I love the rose ceremony guy. I feel like he is so unnecessary. All he does is show up and tell everyone it's time for the rose ceremony. But my favorite thing is when there is only one rose left, which everyone can clearly see, he shows up and says, "Ladies, this is the final rose tonight. Brad, when you're ready." Like no one has noticed that there is only one left! I just really love that.
And once they get the rose, do they tell them to stand there and hold it the way they do? I think I would probably just stand there with my hands to my sides, with the rose in my hands. But they always stand there like a bride with a bouquet, with their arms in front, holding the rose in front of their bodies. It's so silly looking.
Here's another thought about it--the point of this show is to fall in love and find someone you want to marry, right? Does any normal couple do that while living in a mansion and traveling around the world and taking helicopters all over the place? NO! How in the world does that prepare you for marrying someone? You don't know anything about them except how they act on vacation. It's pretty easy to be in love on vacation. And I love how they act like HE is doing all these nice things for them, like, "Oh, Brad! You are too much! I can't believe you took me on a hundred thousand dollar shopping spree!" Well, duh, ABC has lots of money, girl. He didn't do that. The freaking SHOW bought you that Fendi purse, ok?
Which brings me to my final thought--I think someone should make a REALISTIC Bachelor show. Where the things you do are things that might actually happen once you get married. The scenarios I've thought of so far are these:
-You only have $100 for groceries, make it through the month. Girl who comes up with the best meals wins.
-Spend time with each other's extended families, hopefully people say crazy stuff and make the other person feel weird.
-Run into ex-girlfriends and boyfriends.
-Have a situation where one person smells bad. Post-workout sweat, morning breath, gassiness, whatever. Just have one person smell bad and see what happens.
-Take a road trip. Not a helicopter ride or a private jet, but like a 10 hour drive where you eat beef jerky and chewy Sprees and read Harry Potter to each other.
-Make a big purchase decision together. Like a Wii or a computer.
Now, discuss: Have you been watching? How crazy do you think Michelle is? What are some good dates and challenges for The Realistic Bachelor?
11 comments:
I also watch the Bachelor and have overcome my shame and now and just content that it is awesome reality TV! Michelle is crazy!!! And I love Emily especially when someone compared her to Mother Tersea in a barbie's body.
Words I would like to see eliminated : trust, vulnerable, and "Im not trying to be dramatic." Yes you are.
If you liked this season, you should have been there last bachelor. Those chicks were crazy!
I haven't watched this season at all, but I've caught a few episodes of the last couple of seasons. I, too, hate JOURNEY. You're not on a journey. You're just crazy.
And I really like the idea of a Realistic Bachelor. Maybe they should hang out with an infant or crazy toddler for a day or two and see how the other person can handle that.
I'm going to have to remember to watch an episode (or many) to see Emily and Michelle. I'm excited.
I haven't watched it in a very long time, but I LOVE ANTM, so lets just get that out there.
And all of your observations are absolutely correct. I wish I could watch it with you, and now I want to watch it so I can discuss it with you.
And I love how 'big' purchases for us include a wii and a computer.
Completely agree with you. The funny thing about this whole thing is that there are more marriages that happen in "The Biggest Loser" than on "The Bachelor/Bachelorette". Just shows that going through something hard together makes you stronger
I love your suggestion about a 10 hour ride with that person, although our challenge would be agreeing with what book to read rather than being in a 10 hour car ride together!
I would like to eliminate the following phrases: "It's so nice to see him in his element." -Gay OR "he's finally in his element", "I get to really be in my element" basically the word element.
Also, I'm so happy you watch it. I started watching it a few years ago with my co-workers and then we'd have a rip on the bachelor party every week. Good times.
Chris is probably the best part of the show.
Also I so bad want to know how much it is rigged...like how many of these girls are "extras" that are just space fillers until the time is right for them to leave. OR if they say, you are free to get rid of whomever BUT you HAVE to keep the vampire girl because well, duh.
Might I also add that never before have I had so much respect for a girl on that show. When she left the show...kudos to her.
Also, are you really excited that Michelle is in the new "LDS film" coming out? I sure am. (which ties into my previous comment about extras.)
MICHELLE IS IN A MOVIE? Oh my gosh. I have to see it. Nickell, next week I should invite myself to your house to watch it and hold your babies.
I have not watched it for a while, but I recall all of your observations to be correct. My favorite part is the first night when there's, like, 30 girls and they're all dressed up in shiny dresses that show their boobs, their legs, or both (if both, you know she's gonna be the first one to make out with him).
They should definitely have dates that are meaningful and include more family. Because come on, if you're planning on marrying them, you have to know how he is around his family. And one of them needs to know how to cook. Seriously. Either of them. At least know how to boil water.
And how can they barely interact with a guy and then ALL OF THEM decide that they are IN LOVE. Because he said that their dress looks nice. Or they like the same food. Guh.
oh.
em.
gee.
I watched the first episode of my life when this season started. And james watched it with me. He made fun of me for watching it the entire time. He kept saying "I can't believe you are watching this." but he never left, so...
But I keep missing it! I saw the last like 20 minutes of this weeks episode and the first episode of the season and that is it. And all I have to say is that I agree with all that you say. And yes, Michelle is a crazy person. "You don't get to talk." he didn't even want to kiss her! You could totally tell. So why the HECK did she get a rose? As James said, "Does she really think guys like girls like that?!!?"
Realistic Bachelor should really happen. You should probably pitch this idea to NBC, like seinfeld.
thankfully we just got DVR. I will never miss another bachelor.
OH and the rose ceremony guy! James and I were laughing so hard about him and thinking those exact same things! "One more rose left" yeh duh. we can see.
thank you for watching it too.
oh, erin, i just love your commentaries. i unfortunately am a pretty die hard bachelor/bachelorette fan... not really proud to admit it. it's kind of like one of those terrible accidents where it's so horrifying you just can't tear your eyes away. anyway, i think michelle is a psychopath, but i also think she wants to be perceived that way and that 99% of it is an act. (have you seen that she is starring in midway to heaven with the oh-so-i-loved-him-in-11th-grade kirby heybourne?) and yes, i agree that you can't help but love emily. she's so pretty and so so nice.
if you want some pretty dang hilarious bachelor commentary, check out no-sex-and-the-city. it's natalie hill's blog (mormon in manhattan). SO funny.
anyway, new episode tomorrow! counting down the hours!! eek! i wonder when he'll finally dump michelle...
Suzana, reading her commentary is actually one of the things that propelled me to watch it. And just the internet in general talking about it. I love to jump on bandwagons.
OH MY GOSH!!! I love this blog post.
Can I tell you that I recently just started watching the Bachelor while folding laundry last week!!!
It's incredibly stupid/unrealistic/addictive. Not even joking - every single point you made in this post [the rose ceremony, over-used phrases, falling in love on freaking vacation] I have complained about as well! It's such a crazy show!
Yes - Emily is my favorite as well!
Also - On the double Ashley date I'm mad he sent home the Ashley he did - she's more normal!
Michelle - FREAKING INSANE. she is CRAZY! what made me laugh is that she is from SLC and a hairdresser! HA!
Seriously - it's crazy!!! But I will probably continue watching just so I can see what crazy lady he ends up with. IN.SANE.
:)
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