I wrote this on December 30th. I'm trying to actually blog all the little things I write down during the day.
The blog link list is an interesting thing, isn’t it? Sometimes I don’t know if what I’m doing is the socially acceptable way of doing things. How soon after you meet someone new or find an old friend’s blog should you add their blog to your list? Will they be offended if they discover they’re not on your list but you are on theirs? Do people have expectations of whose name should come first if they are married?
On this point I actually do have an opinion. This space here is absolutely MY blog. For a while I tried to be all we-are-one-in-our-marriage-ish and call it OURS, but it isn’t. Chris doesn’t really care too much about it, he reads it if I tell him I wrote something I want him to read, and he posted one time (which I loved, Christopherson!). And that is just fine with me.
However, I have to admit that there is a little something in me that is irked when I got other people’s blogs and see me listed as “Chris and Erin.” Maybe it is just the feminist in me. (And the fact that I just used the word feminist kills me too, but that’s a thought for another day. I have a LOT of feelings about Feminism that I would love to write down.) Or maybe I feel like Chris is getting some sort of credit where I believe it is not due? I’m really not sure what it is. I’m not saying that if you have displayed our names as such that you should feel compelled to now switch them. Really, it’s ok.
It’s just a funny thing that I’ve been thinking about. Because I know I have sat there in front of the Add Links box for far longer than I probably should, debating about how to write the names of the couple I am adding to my list. Typically, it’s the girl, because they are the ones doing the actual blog, but on some occasions, if I feel I am better friends with the husband than I am with his wife, it will be the other way around.
With some instances, such as Riley and Chelsea, I am friends with them both, and have been for a long time, but when it comes down to it, Riley was toilet papering my house long before he started dating Chelsea. So he went first. Sometimes people were single and now they’re married, but I’ve left their name alone because I don’t really know their spouse. Anyway.
Does anyone else have a lot of thoughts on this topic? Is it just me? Do I spend too much time thinking about ridiculous things?
14 comments:
Yes and no. I used to think about it a lot. I actually used to do all girls names first with my blog and business. But then I had a couple grooms request their names first and then it just became habit. So for me it's a formed habit to just always put the husband's name first because that's how I do it with work and so I don't switch. But then once a couple has kids I switch it to family...for example it used to say Jordan and Andrea on my blog but now it says Harris Family....Also don't fret about the feminist thing either. I too hate the word but find that more often than not I am pretty feminist....(insert sad face)
Sometimes your posts freak me out because it's like you're reading my mind. I wondered a lot about whose name goes first, and really 99% of the time the husband doesn't even know they have a blog and doesn't contribute to it, but then I feel mean if I leave the guys name out because a lot of blogs talk about what both people are up to. And then if they have kids do you put all 3 names? And then it's like do I add their last name too or do I just leave it at their first name?
So stressful.
Should I be wondering why we are listed under "Charles and Emily?" hhhhmmmm. Am I jealous that you consider Charles a better friend since I think you are so cool? Yes. Okay, so I don't really think that you like Charles way better than you like me, but he is pretty cool. I guess it is fair since you are listed under "Chris and Erin" on Henri's blog. You know, I TOTALLY agree that it is bogus (I am reading "Pretties" right now, which is probably why I used that word) that guys get ANY credit for blogs. Charles has not ever once posted on our blog. I don't think it will ever happen.
Oh yeah, thanks for posting so much. I read your blog when Henri is napping and our whole apartment is spotless and all of the laundry is done and I don't have a car to go anywhere and it is 105 degrees outside so walking anywhere is crazy. You get the picture.
Yeh I just have it be the title of the blog itself and then you don't have to worry about names. like yours isn't under as "Erin" or even "chris and erin" it's as "We got married so now we have a blog."
problem solved.
The "We" in the title of your blog implies it is a "Chris and Erin" blog, not an "Erin" blog. So I will leave your blog as "Chris and Erin" on our list. And notice how Chris's name went first....you may think that's because I like Chris better and that may be the case (I mean come on, he was my roommate) but nope... alphabetical order my friend.
SPEAKING OF WHICH
My blog is mine; Andy has his own. I really and truly don't care that we're listed together, though, and I wouldn't care if he was listed first.
That is all.
so forget what I said. I do the husband's name first for work but I'm a little slow. I noticed I put her name first on my blog list...
Chelsea never posts! Just take her name off! :) jk, but seriously..... "Riley not tonight!"
i list the couples because usually, no matter who is doing the actual blogging, i hear updates on the "family", which includes both husband & wife. i'd never really thought much about it though, except that i started by listing the guy first on one, so all the others had to follow that pattern..
I think blog lists totally get out of control. I need to edit mine.
And I don't like that your blog is private. I don't see the posts as soon as I need to. And why are you so popular and get so many comments. Oh, probably because you post stuff. I need to get back on that wagon.
I see blogs sometimes where the list is like 2493827538 names long. It gets out of control. Fast.
Ha, you're funny Erin :) I add people to my blog list because that's the way I keep track of my friend's blog sites. And I also sometimes just do one name if I don't know the friend's spouse. I do think about the whole who's name should go first in the couple thing, especially when I'm signing something from me and my husband. I feel like it sounds better "Valerie and Jacob" but I usually switch it so his name is first so people don't think I'm self-centered :)
I love how you wrote my name. It makes me get all warm and fuzzy inside every time I see it. Even though it's no longer my last name, it still makes me happy.
Also, I just don't put people on my blog list. I found I was really horrible at updating it. So I just decided to save myself the headache and didn't do it.
I see it this way: I am friends with you, not really friends with Chris. You are definitely the one who writes everything, clearly not Chris. So why is he listed? Because it is about you mostly and him sometimes. So since he is often featured or mentioned on your blog, it still pertains to him.
Besides that, Chris is listed first because I like everything uniform. So husband then wife is how I maintain that. I try not to look at it as a power struggle (although I do have feminist tendencies...).
I like what you write. It's refreshing. :)
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