Take that, fat!

What has 2 thumbs, fits into pants that used to be in the DI pile, and now weighs the same as I did in that picture over there?



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THIS GIRL.


I gained 20 pounds after I got married. I KNOW. I said so many times I wasn't going to be that girl, but there I was. I think somewhere between winter and birth control and being lazy, it just happened. Do you want to know how much I weighed at my very highest? You're really curious, huh?

Well, I'm embarrassed to say it. Like, really I am. And if you know me, you know I don't get embarrassed about too many things, but I am about this. But I will say it. I weighed 165. I AM ONLY 5'4, people. That is serious biz. That also means that according to one of these guys, I was overweight. 20 pounds overweight. How convenient. The exact amount I had gained.

Today I weigh 144 pounds. Which, according to this guy, means I am now in the normal range.

And you know what else that means? I look in the mirror without craning my neck to get rid of my double chin, and wearing pants to work is a joy, because they all zip up.

It also means that it's not a lie. If you eat less, you will lose weight. If you eat less AND exercise, you will lose weight. In my experience, if you exercise and eat the same, you will not lose weight. When I trained for the half marathon I did last year I did not lose a pound, because I fell for that attitude of, "Oh, I'm working out so much that I can eat whatever I want!" FALSE. If you eat 2500 calories a day and only burn 3 or 400, that is not helping you do anything.

I love it. I love this process, I love getting on the scale and yelling, "Take THAT, FAT!" when I go down even half a pound, and I love not feeling like my body is the enemy. We're on the same team now, and we weren't before. I spent a long time feeling like my body just wasn't cooperating, and not loving the way it looked, but not doing too much about it. But now I feel like we're more in sync, Physical Erin and I. If I feed it too much, it will gain weight. If I feed it too little, it will lose weight but I will be grumpy. If I feed it just right, and run a few miles, things are excellent.

My friend Casidy and I were talking recently about how sometimes the world we live in has a self-esteem attitude that is actually harmful. We were talking about how you're not supposed to judge anybody, so even when people sin, you're supposed to say, "Oh, that's ok. I'm not going to judge them." But, turns out, wrong is wrong. If someone is sinning, they are in the wrong. And I feel the same way about all the inspirational, touchy feely sayings like, "It's what inside that counts." Yeah, that's true . . . but guess what? Your spirit AND your body make you who you are. So no matter how intelligent or witty you may be, if you're not taking care of your body, you're not taking care of yourself. And if you don't feel good about your body, you don't feel good about yourself. You are your body, whether you like it or not.

This ended up being a lot longer than I meant it to be. I meant to just share my good news and move on. But I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on the topic (obviously), and they just all spilled out. (Well, not all of them. I think you all know there are plenty more thoughts and feelings floating around this brain. I am not a concise, to the point sort of girl.)

What I REALLY wanted to do here, though--besides toot my own horn--is to let all my internet peeps know that taking care of your body is such a wonderful feeling. And to also tell you that it is possible to lose weight. It is really hard, and sometimes you might cry because you feel like you're not seeing any progress (not that I know anything about that. Those aren't mascara stains on Chris's shirt, they're something else), and sometimes you will be hungry for whatever delicious smelling thing other people are eating while you eat something boring like lettuce, but it works. You can do it.

I have 9 more pounds to go for my ultimate goal, and I know for sure I can reach it. There is no doubt in my mind. And changing the way my MIND thought about things was really one of the hardest parts of this whole process.

p to the s:
I REALLY wish I would have been taking pictures every week or something, like Katie is doing. (And if you don't read her blog, do it. It is great.) But woe is me, for I did not. However, since January, Chris and I weigh in and measure our waists at the belly button latitude and record it on a piece of paper taped to our bedroom wall which reads THE BIGGEST LOSER. So I have that to show my progress. And I do have some old pictures from last year that are SHOCKING. Anyway. I will probably put some up at some point, I'm jsut saying, I wish I had been awesome like Katie and taken pics every week. That is all.